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Post by Ashe on Feb 27, 2020 18:07:22 GMT -6
Ashe had gotten a letter and he didn't know who had sent it. Curiosity had caused him to open it, and immediately wish he hadn't. It was never good news, these random letters in the mail. Never 'hey your super rich great grandfather you never heard of died and left you a castle and a fortune!' Often, it was someone known, that just didn't address it properly. Sometimes it was just junk mail, mass-produced pamphlets for some show or sale. But this was an honest to Spirit written letter, speaking of tragedy that had befallen someone close to Ashe.
Nox was dead.
The news had hit Ashe like a ton of bricks to the chest. His knees had buckled to the point where he sat down, hard, on the ground, startling several creatures that were lounging around the house, including Inyala, who rushed to see what was wrong with her master. He ignored her, shockingly, which went to show how deeply this news had affected him.
Nox... Ashe thought. His thoughts were blurring with each other. It was Nox who had pulled him out of a self destructive depression after Vix had left. Nox who brought him back to life. Nox who...
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Post by Ashe on Feb 27, 2020 18:21:06 GMT -6
Ashe pulled himself up off the ground and dusted himself off. He looked the letter over again, flipping it over this way and the other, looking for any hint as to who had sent this. Where had Nox gone, when he'd left? Who was Nox with, that might have known who Ashe was and how to contact him and just the fact that he should be contacted in this case? How'd it happen, was Nox alone, or was there an accident, or.... He walked in a daze to his bedroom, his subconscious knowing he wouldn't want to be seen displaying emotions, lack thereof, or whatever else was coming. He wanted to be alone.
Inyala squeaked by before the door shut, and he allowed her to stay. The other half of him; she was always welcome. Quietly, she hopped up onto the bed and picked a pillow to perch on, staying near but out of the way.
Ashe sat down on the bed, folding and unfolding the note in his hands. Nox. His beautiful starry-eyed angel, so soft and kind and patient. He remembered the sheer comfort of having someone who understood without judging, who was able to take it all away, for hours at a time...
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Post by Ashe on Feb 27, 2020 18:33:46 GMT -6
Smoothing out the paper again, running his hands across it just for the sake of something to do. He closed his eyes, trying to picture Nox from the most recent time they'd met. The heartbreaking time, when Ashe had told him he was committing himself to Vix, that he would always love Nox but he couldn't be with both. One of the hardest things Ashe had ever done, to date. He couldn't say he regretted his choice, he was still madly in love with his little Vixen, but there would always be a soft spot for Nox. Man, had he ever even told Vix about Nox? He was sure he had. He didn't keep secrets from Vix, for the sake of her trusting him to tell the truth. And so she wouldn't find out something later and get angry.
He sighed. Nox. Tall, thin, but with some muscle. Tattoos...
The design itself wasn't particularly extraordinary, though one could certainly tell that an able professional had done the work and put in the time on the piece. A winged heart spanned over his pecs and onto his shoulders, dark sun rays falling out from behind it and fading down his ribs. Each feather was shaded perfectly, evidence of many hours spent under the needle.
And what had it said...? He'd had a tattoo of words...
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Post by Ashe on Feb 27, 2020 19:10:36 GMT -6
Ah, that's right. Ashe remembered.
The words "The World is Ugly" followed along his collarbone,finishing the piece at the top.
Ashe had thought that was it. Some edgy quote, showing how Nox rebelled in his own way to the way the world was. Too rough, too coarse, for someone like him. In some ways, Ashe was more suited for it. The anger, the lashing out, the shielding himself in power - that came naturally to him. What had Nox done? Embraced things, quietly took it and asked for more. Perhaps, depending on how you looked at it, maybe Nox had been better suited for it, able to take on burden after burden.
And the rest of the tattoo, Ashe had later figured out, said something that changed his entire thinking of Nox.
Along the bottom, after all the rest of the ink had faded out, the quote finished out in white ink. "But it's beautiful to me," etched like a scar fading along his ribs.
Ashe had gotten quite a close look at every detail, you could say, in the time they'd spent together. And he could trace the tattoos, even now, with his fingers. They moved in the air, making the patterns, drawing it out into thin air. He'd inspired Ashe to get tattoos of his own, actually. He would always have that part of Nox with him, the daring, the artistry.
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Post by Ashe on Feb 27, 2020 19:29:08 GMT -6
The paper fluttered to the ground as Ashe dropped it and the man rolled over onto his stomach, grabbing a pillow to bury his face in. Not for tears, not yet anyway, but to better shut out the rest of the world and just focus on Nox. These memories were already embedded in his mind, his being. Yet. There was something about reliving the happy memories spent with someone, once that someone had passed on, wasn't there? Ashe certainly felt the urge. They'd known each other so freaking long it was hard to single out the best... Scratch that, Ashe knew the best night they'd spent together. So maybe the competition was for the second and third best memories.
The pair of them had been a little... Awkwardly on and off for a long time. They'd ventured to the Beyond together, sleeping in the same tent together, with Ashe making advances but never pushing too hard. Nox h ad been shy then, and Ashe too cautious. What could have been an all night party every night, was some light fooling around instead, tame for Ashe. And Nox had had a boyfriend. Spirit, what was his name? Ashe could almost picture him, working at the Midnight Panther with them all...
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Post by Ashe on Feb 27, 2020 19:45:19 GMT -6
Suddenly, Ashe remembered! He'd been with Remiel, the little meerkat. And neither of them would do much, while Nox was happily taken; Nox because he was happy, and Ashe because Nox refused. Ashe, of course, didn't care if there were boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, or wives in the picture.... Sometimes they could even join! But Nox had been loyal, and Ashe had had to respect that whether he wanted to or not. So it had come as a surprise, but not a complete surprise, when the embers on the back burner burst into a full blown forest fire. That night, they'd been at the Panther, the dancing and the drinking and the lights... Ashe had been happy to see him, and Nox had reciprocated, and a couple ass grabs and bumps into walls later, they were in Nox's room...
"I've...wanted this..." Ashe murmurs softly, pulling back from the kiss. It wasn't much, coming from Ashe. It wasn't like his slutty nature was a secret. But that didn't change the fact that there was chemistry between them, something that wasn't forced and had trouble even being contained.
"Yeah?" Nox's reply was breathless. "How much?"
How can such true affection come from something so habitually carnal? Ashe still didn't know. It had happened twice in his life, and he was suddenly never going to see one of the two people ever again.
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Post by Ashe on Feb 27, 2020 20:39:25 GMT -6
Never going to feel the soft caress, even in friendship. The hugs, the forehead touches, the companionship. You never knew how much you would miss someone. Most people thought it was sadness and tears and grief, about those quiet moments when you realized you were never going to see them again. Overlooked were the times when you were happy and wanted to share something you did that day, or share some of your happiness, your excitement. You walk inside, or reach for the phone, or knock on their door, and just when you're expecting them to respond... You remember, you're alone.
Thank goodness Ashe wasn't alone alone. He still had Vix. He might have seriously teetered on the edge, ready to go over into dark oblivion once again. Nox had saved him the first time, but this time, who would save him? Maybe he wasn't as cut out for the world as he'd been thinking. Maybe Nox was better, after all. Too good for this world.
Ashe sighed deeply, inhaling the stale pillow smell. He'd have to wash these soon. But a new thought occurred to him... He'd been planning on Nox being his best man, when he did get around to marrying Vix. Now he would never see it...
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