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Post by Linyü on Mar 14, 2021 23:39:15 GMT -6
Seveth offered Ichaival a weak smile, an apology for the unpleasantness of the… It wasn’t an accusation, exactly, but the thought had certainly crossed his mind. Still, as surely as Ichaival understood his concerns, it must have understood that he meant no ill will by it. He only ever wanted to know what he was working with, and if anything he was doing would even be of real use.
Ichaival breathed out, long and slow, and closed its eyes. {I cannot give you a clear answer,} it said. {I do not know. His mental state had been precarious even before he had taken the node, and now…} It was quiet for a moment, as if trying to find the words. {I intervened to create a balance between the two of you, but I am loathe to interfere any further. What you have now will hold, and I do not wish to tempt fate. That there may have been some unforeseen side effects is a possibility I will not deny, but other possibilities exist as well.}
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Post by Linyü on Mar 14, 2021 23:39:27 GMT -6
“Something to do with where he came from?” Seveth ventured. San's home country did have a pretty dim view of magic stemming from their circumstances. That much he understood, even if he didn't know the specifics about how it was spoken about among the people.
{In a manner of speaking,} Ichaival returned. {But they employ other elementals who performed better.}
“Elementals? But they hate magic, don’t they?”
{The hypocrisy of governments,} said Ichaival, with a shrug of its wings. {The nodes they confiscate from their citizens are already made, are they not? Give them to the willing and indoctrinated, and you have a new weapon of the state.}
Seveth, whose eyes had gone wide as he listened to Ichaival’s explanation, now grimaced in distaste. “That’s… Is that… what he was? A weapon of the state?”
{They certainly tried to make him one,} Ichaival remarked drily. {Whether they succeeded is more debatable, of course.}
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Post by Linyü on Mar 14, 2021 23:39:44 GMT -6
Ichaival didn’t seem bothered by what it had said, but Seveth found himself increasingly unsettled by the knowledge. San didn’t share much, but Seveth knew that San saw his status as an elemental as a burden, if not an outright condemnation. Elementals weren’t monsters, but Seveth got the sense sometimes that San saw them that way; and if he did, then Seveth could only guess how San felt about himself.
If the attitude was cultural, a revulsion that traced itself back to childhood, then it was hard to imagine San having taken the node willingly to become what he was now. To have done so merely to become a weapon at someone else’s command... Seveth shuddered to think of what could drive someone to do it.
But worse than that was the sense that he was hearing something second hand that he had no right to know.
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Post by Linyü on Mar 14, 2021 23:39:59 GMT -6
It would have been different if San had been the one to tell him, but San refused to share anything if he absolutely didn’t have to, which only made Seveth more certain that he wouldn’t have wanted Seveth to know this about him either.
{Child,} sighed Ichaival, unfolding a sheltering wing over Seveth’s head. {Do not trouble yourself so over his plight. There was nothing you could have done to intervene on his behalf, with so much distance between your situations. The past is the past.}
Ichaival had a point, but even so, Seveth shook his head. “It might be over, but he’s still carrying it with him.” Seveth looked down at the ground, where the ground was muddy with yesterday's rain, and grass was just starting to emerge with new growth for the coming spring. “If old baggage is what’s stopping him from using magic properly…”
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Post by Linyü on Mar 14, 2021 23:40:31 GMT -6
Instruction wasn’t really something he had tried his hand at either, and it was surprisingly painstaking work to put down clear instructions. He had to make several attempts before he was satisfied with what he wrote, and even then, he found himself revising or belatedly adding in new notes as he went, when he remembered something new that he had forgotten to put in before.
The end result was… definitely not as neat as it could have been. But it was a serious attempt, and still legible enough to be informative. Seveth hoped so, anyway. He supposed he would find out the next time he was awake.
He tucked his haphazard notes under the journal with surprising trepidation, and penned a new note for San.
If you have time, try these. Some of them might feel kind of stupid, but I’m really trying to help this time! Promise! ;)
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Post by Linyü on Mar 14, 2021 23:42:07 GMT -6
He laid it on top of the fruits of his day's labour, and stared at it for a moment longer before rising abruptly from the chair and flinging himself onto the bed, rolling around on it until he got the worst of the restlessness out. Then he laid on it with his limbs spread out, staring at the ceiling. He hoped this would work. Not because he wanted to learn how to use the knives - not anymore, though that would be a nice bonus - but because he did really, truly want to help this time. Magic wasn’t supposed to be some sort of… bogeyman force, or a monster that you found yourself turning into. How much must it have hurt to hate yourself to that extent? Turning over, he pressed his face into the pillow. “I didn’t even go out drinking today,” he muttered. “You better appreciate this, San.” -----
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Post by Linyü on Mar 15, 2021 0:20:53 GMT -6
San read the new entry in the journal, then read it again, and then a third time just to see if he could figure out the ruse. When he found nothing, he narrowed his eyes and flipped through the rest of the journal just to be sure.
“It’s not a trick this time,” said Rei. She was sitting at the edge of the desk, watching him interrogate the notebook for answers it didn’t have. “He went to the library, and brought back notes. He spent the whole day there.”
True to her words, there had been a small stack of loose sheets sitting on the desk when San awoke. Picking one up, he frowned at the contents. More magical exercises - except these were described in much more detail, with notes scribbled into the margins or painstakingly inserted between lines in a smaller, even less legible script than usual.
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Post by Linyü on Mar 15, 2021 0:21:05 GMT -6
On the back, and all the other pages after, were more of the same. This time there were no mortifying incantations, though some of the activities did sound rather childish.
Loath as he was to admit it, it did seem like Seveth had put some genuine effort into this.
The frown remained on San’s features, though now it was for a different reason. Genuine effort wasn’t something he associated with Seveth’s person. As far as he could tell, up until now he had spent his time pursuing trivial pleasures, or escaping mundane responsibilities, with no thought for the future or for anyone else’s convenience. The idea that he would go to such pains for a request that San had made of him felt keenly out of character. Had he wanted to learn proper knife usage so badly? But even that didn’t fit with what San knew of him, and he didn’t know what else it could be.
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Post by Linyü on Mar 15, 2021 0:43:39 GMT -6
“I think he wants to help you,” said Rei. Rising to her feet, she walked over and picked up the note that Seveth had written. She couldn’t read it, San knew - a fact that he had meant to remedy, and never quite found the time to. There had been too much to do, too much to figure out since he had arrived here, and now he had half the time. “He isn’t a bad person.”
The corners of San’s mouth tensed, but he bit back the retort that came immediately to mind at her words. He hadn’t forgotten how Seveth had seen it fit to enter Rei in an obedience contest for trained beasts, but it wasn’t something that bore repeating, least of all to her.
He tried to think of something reasonable, something rational to say in response, but all of it felt juvenile and insufficient.
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Post by Linyü on Mar 15, 2021 0:46:06 GMT -6
Eventually, he sighed and picked up the book with the nonsensical title that he had nearly thrown out the window two days before. He still didn’t agree with Rei’s assessment of Seveth’s character, but she was right in that he ought to give this one more try, to see whether Seveth was, by some strange miracle, being serious this time.
He told himself that he wouldn’t expect much. His mistake had been expecting anything at all last time. Skimming through the foreword, he found it to be patronizing in places, and the book spoke of magic as if it were some harmless, wonderful thing that anyone could acquaint themselves with given a little dedication, and a few resources.
In Xinzhou, a book like this would have been burned as soon as it was discovered. Being found with this in your possession would have been grounds enough for an arrest, and likely far worse.
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