Christmas Songs, MML style. All credit goes to Vix, this is just a reposting for personal benefit.
Frosty The Snow Man
Mr.Melty the snowman was a vicious nasty soul,
With Bloodroot arms and a stolen scarf
And two eyes made out of coal.
Mr.Melty the snowman is a nightmare, they say,
He was made of snow but the children
Know how he came to life one day.
There must have been some magic in that
Old knitted scarf they took
For when they placed it on his neck
He laughed and snarled and shook
O, Mr.Melty the snowman
Was alive as he could be,
And the children say he could cut
And kill just the same as you and me.
Stabity stab stab,
Stabity stab stab,
Look at Mr.Melty go.
Stabity stab stab,
Stabity stab stab,
Hot fire he will blow.
Mr.Melty the snowman knew
The sun was hot that day,
So he said, "Let's run and
We'll have some fun
Now before I melt away."
Down to the village,
With a axe in his hand
Running here and there all
Around the square saying,
Catch me if you can, suckers!
He led them down the streets of town
Right to the traffic cop.
And he only puched him away when
He heard him holler "Stop!"
For Mr.Melty the snow man
Had to hurry on his way,
But he waved goodbye saying,
"Don't you smile,
I'll be back again some day."
Stabity stab stab,
Stabity stab stab,
Look at Mr.Melty go.
Stabity stab stab,
Stabity stab stab,
Over the bloodstained hills of snow.
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Night Before Christmas'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Spirit soon would be there;
The monsters were nestled all snug in their caves,
While they dreamed of eating the humans that made them behave;
And Sexy Ashton Kutcher in his boxers, and I in my nightdress,
Had just settled down for a long winter's rest,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to to my wondering eyes should appear on the lawn,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight large Equillion,
With a young man of a driver, so proper and artistic,
I knew in a moment it must be Spirit!
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dracula! now, Velkar! now, Grunty and Voodoo!
On, Nyroc! on Lux! on, Balefire and Niu!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of tools, and St. Spirit, too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Spirit came with a bound.
He was dressed so casually, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of serums and eggs he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His wide friendly mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And his face was so bright it almost seemed to glow!
The stump of a pencil he held tight in his hand,
His tool of trade he used to brighten the land!
He had a open face, but almost no belly-
So nothing jiggled like a bowl full of jelly.
But no matter, he was here, he looked like a fun little elf!
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer
Maverick, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows. (Like a lightbulb!)
All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Maverick
join in any reindeer games. (Like Monopoly!)
So Maverick took a knife,
And started to plan- (Muwa ha-ha!)
'Foolish mortals, they think they're smart?
They'll be chopped meat at Wal-Mart!'
So he went and killed them all
With his vile fumes (Yuck-ee!)
He laughed 'cause he knew he'd won
And had shown those fools how it's done!
Then all the reindeer obeyed him,
as they shouted out 'Yes, sir!'
Maverick the red-nosed reindeer,
You'll be disrespected NOOOO MOOOOORE~
Deck The HallsDeck the halls with immuto and buggies
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
'Tis the season to be naughty
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Don't want some monsters with rabies?
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la.
Yeah, with adorable Eudrace babies!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.
See the blazing mad Verai
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Ride around with sleigh-bound Reppequi
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Follow me to the chubby owls!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Iijok are fuzzy as fresh-dried towels
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Be thankful that you haven't been eaten!
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
And be happy that the monsters are sweet and
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
Though they may be too big to measure
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la
They truely are our greatest treasure
Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.