Think Before You Hit Send
Feb 6, 2020 19:26:27 GMT -6
Post by Ashe on Feb 6, 2020 19:26:27 GMT -6
Lately we as an online community in general, not just HxR, have made it commonplace to be absolutely terrible to people because we are safe behind a keyboard. But words have repercussions, whether they end up discrediting you or increasing the depression someone feels. And the kicker? Its completely avoidable, you could just keep scrolling or ignore it, but people choose to do it anyway without thought or regard for others. No one wants to think about what happens after they say these things, it's always about momentary, instant gratification. I'm mad because someone didn't listen to me how I wanted? I'll make them feel bad! I'm mad because I didn't get that promotion? I'll take it out on others! I'm personally disgusted/shamed/embarrassed? They'll hurt ten times more!
It has come to my attention that, despite our numerous attempts to put a lid on it, bullying is still rampant here. Senseless criticism (ie, not constructive or productive but simply meant to insult) and extremely reaching accusations on top of personal insults. Seeing as most of us have known each other for 10-15 years, there is a lot of history there. Some of us built everlasting friendships, others hold grudges a decade old. Worst case scenario and two people don't like each other - we can still be respectful and avoid personal attacks. Or avoid interaction completely.
I am asking you once more, a final plea before we have to start handing out 5% warnings that will increase with repeated occurrences, to actually think about what you are saying to others. How would you like it if the tables were turned and they said it to you? Would you say this thing publicly? Or not, because what would others think of you for talking like that? Do you want to be part of the cause of someone's depression, the reason someone quits? If your intention is to 'force' something and you won't stop until you get your way... you might want to reconsider.
I'm going to address one issue that came to light last night in private discussion. There seems to be a big line between "mods" and "regular members". There are people who assume that, because we don't grant every wish and implement every suggestion that we are terrible, self serving people that might even bridge on evil. I don't know how the divide got so bad, considering the blood sweat and tears (literally) that goes into resurrecting old ideas to make them publicly playable, hunting down old images, outsourcing new art, creating entire systems from scratch, improving nearly every aspect of the site and balancing old systems that never quite worked right. Streamlining custom stats so people not only stop feeling attacked (hopefully) but also gives them the confidence to do it themselves without "oh no, will the mods accept me?"
Could we do it without you guys? Of course not. We have done our best to make sure you guys are part of the evolution. We put things out for your comment and feedback as often as possible, rather than release it and say "deal with it". We aren't perfect but we are not a team made up of creators that don't want our ideas messed with; each of us was formerly a regular member with our own dreams for the site. The only thing that changed is we took up the mantle to actually make change happen... with a cost, of course. Somehow, people still think we are out to get them, and nothing we do is ever "enough". So people get frustrated...and take it out privately and publicly. No matter how transparent, honest, straight forward and simple we try to make things, we are still members of a cult that doesn't care about the little guy.
Have you ever been talked down to, belittled, made to feel like you can't do anything right no matter what you do? Is it fun? Imagine putting 90% of your free time into something just to have someone tell you it sucks, it would be better if you did it *this* way or that way, or you know what why don't you scrap it because it's not *fair* enough to me? Now multiply that by 10 and we're getting close to an understanding. Non. Stop. It gets tiring. We're human, not robots. Sometimes we say something out of frustration and can only apologize and try better***. Sometimes this just adds to the tension and gives people another excuse to make comments.
But not from everyone! Most of you are great and helpful and just as hardworking. We are always arranging and bringing new people into the fold to work on projects. We couldn't do it without you! But unfortunately there is more than one person causing this so we thought a public, anonymous post would be better since we can't just single out someone and deal with it. Its 2020, we all know by now how important mental health is, so I sincerely hope you'll keep all of this in mind the next time you feel the need to take it out on another person.
With love always,
The Mod Team
It has come to my attention that, despite our numerous attempts to put a lid on it, bullying is still rampant here. Senseless criticism (ie, not constructive or productive but simply meant to insult) and extremely reaching accusations on top of personal insults. Seeing as most of us have known each other for 10-15 years, there is a lot of history there. Some of us built everlasting friendships, others hold grudges a decade old. Worst case scenario and two people don't like each other - we can still be respectful and avoid personal attacks. Or avoid interaction completely.
I am asking you once more, a final plea before we have to start handing out 5% warnings that will increase with repeated occurrences, to actually think about what you are saying to others. How would you like it if the tables were turned and they said it to you? Would you say this thing publicly? Or not, because what would others think of you for talking like that? Do you want to be part of the cause of someone's depression, the reason someone quits? If your intention is to 'force' something and you won't stop until you get your way... you might want to reconsider.
I'm going to address one issue that came to light last night in private discussion. There seems to be a big line between "mods" and "regular members". There are people who assume that, because we don't grant every wish and implement every suggestion that we are terrible, self serving people that might even bridge on evil. I don't know how the divide got so bad, considering the blood sweat and tears (literally) that goes into resurrecting old ideas to make them publicly playable, hunting down old images, outsourcing new art, creating entire systems from scratch, improving nearly every aspect of the site and balancing old systems that never quite worked right. Streamlining custom stats so people not only stop feeling attacked (hopefully) but also gives them the confidence to do it themselves without "oh no, will the mods accept me?"
Could we do it without you guys? Of course not. We have done our best to make sure you guys are part of the evolution. We put things out for your comment and feedback as often as possible, rather than release it and say "deal with it". We aren't perfect but we are not a team made up of creators that don't want our ideas messed with; each of us was formerly a regular member with our own dreams for the site. The only thing that changed is we took up the mantle to actually make change happen... with a cost, of course. Somehow, people still think we are out to get them, and nothing we do is ever "enough". So people get frustrated...and take it out privately and publicly. No matter how transparent, honest, straight forward and simple we try to make things, we are still members of a cult that doesn't care about the little guy.
Have you ever been talked down to, belittled, made to feel like you can't do anything right no matter what you do? Is it fun? Imagine putting 90% of your free time into something just to have someone tell you it sucks, it would be better if you did it *this* way or that way, or you know what why don't you scrap it because it's not *fair* enough to me? Now multiply that by 10 and we're getting close to an understanding. Non. Stop. It gets tiring. We're human, not robots. Sometimes we say something out of frustration and can only apologize and try better***. Sometimes this just adds to the tension and gives people another excuse to make comments.
But not from everyone! Most of you are great and helpful and just as hardworking. We are always arranging and bringing new people into the fold to work on projects. We couldn't do it without you! But unfortunately there is more than one person causing this so we thought a public, anonymous post would be better since we can't just single out someone and deal with it. Its 2020, we all know by now how important mental health is, so I sincerely hope you'll keep all of this in mind the next time you feel the need to take it out on another person.
With love always,
The Mod Team
***If you feel you have been personally attacked by a staff member, please approach one of us and talk to us about it. We are not immune to this ruling simply because we are staff. We are not retroactively dealing out punishment, this ruling starts after this is posted, but if you're having problems don't hesitate to let us know. However, if we say we will look into it, or have looked into it, please do not continue to PM us "Did you give them a warning" "Did you punish them" "That's not enough punishment". The goal is not to punish anyone, but to get people to think about their actions affecting others. Sometimes we can talk things out and hug. The warning is for people who will not stop harassing others.